stripping

An editor friend texted me over the weekend to ask what my blog URL is. Uh-oh… Gulp. “Dont worry, i’ll read it as a friend not as an editor.” Great, now she can read minds too. Hehe.

I remember talking to her several days before about the blogging phenomenon (ABC News has named bloggers “People of the Year”). I casually mentioned that i keep a blog, and that i would like to get semi-serious about writing in it.

Her text after i gave her my blogsite address: “I liken blogging to stripping….” My reply: “Stripping? Quite apt 🙂 there is a profound liberty in vulnerability.”

And then she, the editor par excellence, said she liked that last line. Ahem *pat on the neophyte writer’s back* But, i must admit, i’m new to this “stripping” trade. I haven’t warmed enough to the “liberty” and “vulnerability” of blogging yet. I still get bothered by the thought that these words–chips of my very heart and soul–are out there for anyone to read. Inevitably, they will make judgments about me based on my entries. Am i ready for the impressions i could be making? (Okay, maybe i’m overreacting; it’s not like I get a lot of hits. I’ve only invited a handful to come peek at my blog.) At the same time, i also feel delighted that some people, most of them coerced by friendship or intrigued by this hermit’s coming out, do take time to read. Some kind souls even drop encouraging messages!

I keep a more “naked” journal that is securely stashed inside my forest of a closet, ably protected by three-year-old settlements of dust, mildew, and other asthma-inducing elements. (Mind you, my clothes are in another closet.) So until any one of my housemates starts showing signs of extreme allergy, i wouldn’t even suspect a breach. There are emotions and thoughts in my journal that i pray would never be read by anyone. And yet i still wrote them. Most of them are prayers, anguished cries to God. Most times the writing is legible. But sometimes the strokes are heavy and wayward, betraying the writer’s stormy soul at that moment. To my knowledge, only God and I have read these “naked” chronicles. And i want to keep it that way.

Tell-the-world blog or I-will-kill-anyone-who-snoops journal, I guess all written words long to be read. What good would they be if no eyes ever passed them meaningfully; if they never caused a mind to ponder; and if they never tugged at a heart? My “naked” journal will remain for my eyes and God’s eyes only. But this blog, a speck in the vast cyber universe, is my humble attempt at connecting with myself. And with you.

It’s a pleasure stripping for you.

P.S. Would love to read your blogs, too. Still working on setting up links. Would be great if you could leave your URL at the tag-board and let me take a peek at your “strip show.” (Hehe, my use of this metaphor is starting to cross the line.)

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