because… aaaaargh!

Rain, rain go away. Not-so-little Aleks… needs his sanity back! The heavy rains have me stranded here in BluGre Coffee Shop in Davao. I need to be going home pronto, but I can’t…

Because I don’t have an umbrella and I can’t afford to risk getting Kierk wet (Sans gadget, I wouldn’t mind soaking in the rain)… Because I don’t have enough money for a taxi ride (I do, however, have enough coins in my bag and pocket for the two jeepney rides it takes to get home)… Because I dropped my wallet in the backseat of the taxi I took on my way here (It doesn’t help that I can’t remember one significant detail about the Kia cab I took! All I remember is that it’s white!)… Because I needed to check my email (using BluGre’s free wifi) to follow-up an ad placement that needs to see print tomorrow in Inquirer (I couldn’t get the dial-up at home to work!)… Because if the ad doesn’t come out tomorrow, I will be in a major bind (Don’t even want to start to think about it)… Because… it’s a long story and I’m not exactly in the mood to tell…

Aaaaargh! Waaaaah… God, helf!

the pain is the healing

Don’t ask me to take away
The hurt your heart is feeling;
You will understand someday
That the pain is the healing.

Cry, let the tears flow freely,
But know they are fleeting.
I’ll hold you through this valley;
Let the pain be the healing.

Remember, dear one, the day
On the cross I was hanging;
I suffered and bled, to pay
The pain to be your healing.

So when this ache soon becomes
A memory less rending,
Find peace because you succumbed
To the pain that was healing.

much more than words

Don’t leave me now. Please.
Not now when most everything around me is shifty and hazy
Like the flickering shadows cast by the season’s thousand blinking lights.
No! Don’t abandon me to the incoherent and deceitful torrents of thoughts and emotions
That do nothing but suck me into a maddening whirlpool of What-ifs.

, soothe the headache. Salve the heartache.
You must, oh you must do my bidding. Please.
Be tame, and let me string you together
So I can find my peace. Just this once.

You never leave me nor forsake me. Thank You.
Especially now when I most yearn for certainty and security
Like a wind-plucked leaf from a lofty branch, reeling as it yields to breeze and gravity.
Yes. You keep me from the shackles of Despair, the prison cell of Hopelessness
For even in the unsettling imbalance, there is your Grace – amazing and all-sufficient.

, take captive this mind. Make whole this heart.
I must, oh I must do Your bidding. Teach me.
Be all that I need, and let me be still
For You will be my peace. Once again.

sneaky december

December tiptoed its way into my days. I didn’t really notice it making a grand entrance. Which is odd. Because as far back as I can remember, I’ve always anticipated December with countdown excitement (Limang tulog na lang!). For the past ten years, this anticipation has been fueled in large part by the prospect of going home to Davao to be with family even for just two weeks. But this year is a bit different. Certain events have sent me a bit off-balanced. And anxious. There is no telling what things await me these last cold days of the year…

Tomorrow will be our office Christmas party and, as has been the tradition, it’s going to be a costume party of sorts. This year’s theme? Cartoon characters! Talks in the office the past few days have revolved around certain witches (Yep, gothic black and eeeevil!), fairies (Oh this is easiest – think glitters and repurposed gowns), superheroes (Tights and underwear worn over trousers! Are you serious?) gracing our year-end office celebration.

As if by default, I will be emcee. There isn’t a fixed program yet except for the usual singing, games, and raffle. I am trying not to get too stressed out about it by reminding myself that it will be an informal affair. (We’re really like family in the office.) And I pray that, as in company events past, spontaneity will yield its fruits of fun and fellowship. Besides, the people are already warm and game to start with, so it won’t be too much work to get them guffawing and enjoying. From what I’ve overheard about the costume preparations – panty hose turning into Tinkerbell’s wings, cheap trousers to be resewn into Fred Flinstone’s necktie, temporary blond hair dye – the sight will be nothing short of magical. Maybe, even hilarious.

As for my costume, it’s a toss-up between Clark Kent (Ahem… All objections overruled!) and Jughead Jones (Archie’s laid-back best friend, remembah?). Based on my little Google search, I seem to share more things in common with Jughead – and food is just the start. Also, costume preps for Jughead are minimal – just a nice cut-out crown and casual clothes. Voila! As a bonus, I get an excuse to be a glutton at the buffet table! Afterall, I’m just being “in character.” Hehe…

“Well-meaning” officemates have sugggest that I come as Shrek or Frankenstein. I would have warmed up to either one, until I realized they’re both green! I might just as well be Slimer from The Ghostbusters! (Hey, I miss that floating green dude.)

Now, where, in all this, is the true spirit and meaning of Christmas? Hmm…