(just write)

The silence is deafening here.

I have been a negligent blogger of late, I must confess. So sorry to those of you who took time to click this way only to find nothing new.

Not that there’s a dearth of interesting activity in my life these days. Quite the contrary, actually – it’s just that I can’t seem to carve out time to mull over my life’s events in a way that concludes in a written piece. Even my offline journal hasn’t seen a new entry for quite some time. There are tall weeds in my writing garden from my lack of tending.

But surely I cannot be faulted for not trying. Several times I have taken a deep breath and tapped away on the keyboard in hopes of cajoling to life a post that’s meaningful or just even plain understandable. Sure, I could have posted these half-works nonetheless; but I simply couldn’t bear the thought of boring my readers (no matter how few they are) or wasting their precious Internet time.

Now this brings me to a realization: although this blog was birthed several years ago as primarily a venue for self-expression and writerly release, with little thought given to structure, style, or substance, I must admit that I have since become very much aware and self-conscious about being read, much to the detriment of spontaneous, revealing, and raw writing. (That’s a long sentence, but I will resist editing…)

I haven’t decided yet if that is good or bad. Surely, as in most things, there are pros and cons to it. But it is too late in the night to dichotomize when in fact my objective for writing this post was to simply break the dry spell.

And I think I’ve been quite successful.

Is it safe to open my eyes now? Has the monster that is Writer’s Block finally left my room?

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2 thoughts on “(just write)”

  1. i know what you mean. it’s when you become familiar with the phrase “words escape me.”

    the prodigal words will one day return, and days will come when you succeed in bringing them under your control, and the small thesaurus in your brain obeys every bidding.

    however, i do find that the truly satisfying moments are those when words seem to find their way into reality, jumping into existence, as if they decided to write themselves. moments when words seem like you just breathed them out. so these are the moments i wish you. alas, these are hard to come by and i think that it is after these watersheds that the infamous writer’s block plugs the dams of creativity.

    i think i am in the same boat. until then, i have allowed myself to use other people’s words sometimes, or ramble, such as now, laying aside facts like i am writing in small caps and using running sentences.

    very well put, polaris! šŸ™‚ i hope the writing dry spell ends for u soon, too – i miss your poetry šŸ™‚ (by the way, for some reason, the image of ‘tornado in my pocket’ has stuck in my mind. hehe. sillyserious

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