shuffled

I usually put my iPod on shuffle mode. That’s because I am too lazy to create playlists. Many songs in my music library are not properly labeled—I have dozens of “Track 01’s” and “Track-what-nots,” and quite a number of duplications too. It’s an obsessive-compulsive person’s nightmare (or dream project?).

But even if one day, by some miracle, I find the time and will (or an OC volunteer) to organize my library into neatly-labeled playlists, I think I will still stick to shuffling songs, if only for the surprises that it brings.

Take today, for instance: On the commute to church, a song by Chris Rice found its way to me via shuffle. The song was vaguely familiar, but the honest lyrics caught my attention, especially these lines: I wake to find my soul in fragments / Given to a thousand loves… How can I be so prone to wander / So prone to leave You / So prone to die?

Bullseye. That’s me, a distracted child of God. Daily I am confronted and easily swayed by pursuits other than Him and His glory. And yet God is relentless, His love for me unchanged and undiluted by my shortcomings, abandonment, and immaturity. Like the songwriter and others before him, I wonder in amazement about this love that never lets go, never quits on me.

It’s still more than an hour before the service. But if worship is a recognition of God’s greatness and my smallness; His might and my frailty; His purity and my unworthiness apart from Christ’s work—then my worship time today has begun on that bus ride, with my iPod on shuffle mode.

Curse-reversing day of Jesus
When You finally seize my soul
Freedom from myself will be the
Sweetest rest I’ve ever known

Chris Rice, “Prone to Wander”

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