red jokes

In a few days we’ll tear off the first page of the calendar and bid January adieu. There will be little time to think about New Year’s resolutions—whether or not we’ve stuck by them, whether or not it’s still cute to start drafting them one month into the year… Oh no—sadly, New Year’s resolutions will have become obsolete with January’s closing.

Because here comes February, all set to sweep us off our feet and take our breath away. Hello Valentine’s! Before we realize it, Cupid (ably assisted by his entourage of creative marketers and their myriad products) will have wielded his magic, and we all wake up to a town decked in red.

Red roses
(watch the prices shoot up!)
Red heart cutouts (please, please no crease in the middle!)
Red shirts (Happy Birthday to you, too!)
Red infantile archerskissing (PG-rated, if you ask me)
Red ribbons (yes, both the actual ones and the cake)
Red faces (mostly belonging to dateless singles bombarded with lovelife questions beyond the usual two-per-day quota. Touché!)

So before the town gets painted red in time for V-Day, here’s something to make y’all turn red—with laughter, that is. An officemate swung by my corner last Friday while I was writing copy for—what else—a Valentine’s campaign. “Take a break,” he admonished, handing me a printout of these hilarious pick-up lines. It’s just too funny to not share. (Apologies to readers who don’t understand Filipino. Trust me when I say the humor gets lost in translation.)

Minamalat na naman ang puso ko.
Paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo.

Uy, picture tayo!
Para ma-develop tayo!

Lecture mo ba ako?
Lab kasi kita.

Pwede ba kita maging driver?
Para ikaw na magpapatakbo ng buhay ko.

Pinaglihi ka ba sa keyboard??
Kasi type kita.

I hate to say this, but… you are like my underwear.
‘Coz i can’t last a day without you!

P’wede ba kitang maging sidecar?
Single kasi ako eh.

Me lisensya ka ba?
‘Coz you’re driving me crazy.

May kilala ka bang gumagawa ng relo?
May sira ata relo ko.Pag ikaw kasi kasama ko, humihinto ang oras.

Am I a bad shooter?
‘Coz i keep on missing you.

Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight?
O gusto mong dumaan ulit ako?

Mabilis ka siguro sa mga puzzle noh?
Kasi kakasimula pa lang ng araw ko, pero nabuo mo na agad.

Excuse me, are you a dictionary?
Because you give meaning to my life.

Bangin ka ba?
Nahuhulog kasi ako sa’yo.

Pustiso ka ba?
Kasi i can’t smile without you.

Pagod na pagod ka na noh?
Maghapon at magdamag ka na kasing tumatakbo sa isipan ko eh.

Anung height mo?
Ha?! Pano ka nagkasya sa loob ng puso ko?

Sana “T” na lang ako.
Para I’m always right next to “U”

Are you Jamaican??
Kasi Ja-maican me crazy!!

Ako ay isang exam.
Kaya sagutin mo na ako.

Hinde tayo tao. Hinde tayo hayop.
BAGAY tayo. BAGAY talaga tayo.

Mushy? Corny? Juvenile?

Well, maybe that’s what Valentine’s is about 🙂

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11 thoughts on “red jokes”

  1. hey hoop! how’s hoop jr? 🙂

    ‘maintenance’? hehe. from what i hear, that too can be interesting. different ‘rules’ but the same purpose: woo your leydeh! 😉

  2. Funny stuff. too bad there’s no way to translate it to any other language.

    Ah… Valentine’s day. That day after Christmas which is peddled to us by Hallmark. I’m still not participating.

  3. Believe me, girls don’t mind the corny-ness if it comes from the right person, haha. 🙂 Pero pag ayaw, kahit ala-Shakespeare pa sumulat, wa epek. I enjoyed reading this list too.:)

  4. gypsy – gihilasan ka o nalingaw? hehe. either way, ur getting goosebumps could be very telling 8)

    ei swipe – is valentine’s down under as red as it gets here in the homeland? 🙂

    erik – and i will go so far as to suppose that you have chinese ancestry? hehe. (ok, i confess; i hopped to your blog and found the chinese characters for ‘happy’ on ur header :p) but, yes, red is a great color. thanks for dropping by.

    beng – i will keep that in mind. hahaha! hey, the ladies should come up with witty retorts to these funny pick-up lines. give it a try? :p

  5. one more:

    Wala na yata akong pag-asa. Malala na sakit ko. Dalawa na lang option ko, it’s either ICU or you see me.

    Hello..just bloghopped from Niko’s site 🙂 These are really mushy but I agree with Beng. We really don’t care if it’s from the right person 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

  6. Hilas kung gamitun sa akoa, lingaw kung gamitun sa lain tao. BWAHAHAHA! 😉 Sorry, hard to translate to English. Hehehe..

  7. nice one, vernaloo! hahaha!
    so, that makes two votes for “corny is ok from mr ok” 😉

    gypsy – hahaha! one day some guy just might say the corniest line and u won’t mind, per theory of beng (and vernaloo agrees 😉

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