last monday

When i’m 80 and nostalgic, i wonder which days of my life will stand out in my memory.

Last Monday, exactly a week ago, was quite special in its own way. I say so now because it stands in stark contrast with my usual Mondays, this one included. Most Monday mornings find me panicky and cranky, mainly because I would be running late for work. But not last Monday.

By some miracle, I woke up a lot earlier than usual. Boiled a kettle of water-a mugful to make coffee (and the rest to tame the unbelievably cold water for my bath). Ahhh… the day was young, still dark. The silence was refreshing. (Noisy old lady nextdoor still asleep.) Indian squat on the soft sofa, I warmed my palms with the coffee mug. And I prayed.

No agenda. No urgent petitions to the Father. Just telling Him, “Lord, I’m here at the start of the day, with You.” I don’t recall the conversation with God. There were only a few words. Mostly pauses.

Things look different early in the morning when you’re not rushing. Life looks different. You see things you would otherwise miss while you’re soaked in the activities and demands of the day. A sense of God’s presence overwhelms you, naturally. Not because God has chosen to be present only now, but because you have chosen to be still only now. There is a stepping out of yourself so you can examine your life and how you are living it. And what you see saddens you: wasted time on godless pursuits, missed opportunities for service, misplaced affections. You expect to be depressed at this sight, but amazingly you are not. Hope overpowers despair. For how can you despair, when just outside your window the sun rises – nature’s beautiful demonstration of Hope?

You think, maybe this is what people mean when they say they felt the embrace of God. You find yourself struggling to capture the moment. But, could it be that such a moment is meant to be fleeting, so you would come morning after morning to experience it anew?

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